DEAR HARRIETTE: My kids and I just watched the first presidential debate, and everybody is so upset. My kids are in middle school, and all they kept saying is that the candidates were acting like they were misbehaving schoolchildren. One of my kids said the two men were acting like they were in kindergarten.
I don’t really know what to tell my kids. Of course, the candidates shouldn’t have acted like that, but it seems like this is the new normal. What can I say to my kids to help them know what I expect and what our values are when our leaders are acting so poorly? -- Throw My Hands Up
DEAR THROW MY HANDS UP: Stick to expressing your values to your children. Point out that when people yell at and over each other, nobody's heard and nothing is accomplished. Remind them that learning how to talk to each other is a key to good, respectful communication. Note that, sadly, sometimes adults fail to follow that basic rule -- which doesn’t make it right.
Give them hope by letting them know that they are the next generation of leaders. It is incumbent on them to learn how to communicate effectively, to commit to being strong in their research and convictions and to practice how to listen and be heard. While neither you nor they can control these men who are vying for the most important job in the world, they can do their part to ensure that when it is their turn to lead -- from roles in school and extracurricular groups right now to government in the future -- they must be ready to lead with dignity.