DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine looks like he is extremely ill. He has lost tons of weight and is not doing well. When I have asked him what’s going on, he says some vague things, but nothing matches what’s happening to his body. I am so worried about him. His wife is in the dark as well. She says he keeps everything to himself. This makes it hard to know how to help him. She is at her wit’s end. Same for the close friends who have seen him. Is there anything I can do to help my friend who is holding everything so close to the vest? -- A Friend in Need
DEAR A FRIEND IN NEED: You cannot force your friend to disclose what is going on with him. What you can do is stay in close touch. Since his wife is also unaware of what’s going on with him, she needs as much support as possible. Call her regularly and invite her to join you for tea or coffee. Do your best to keep the lines of communication open so that if there is a need, it will be easy for them to reach out to you.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)