DEAR HARRIETTE: I received an electronic request to write a recommendation for a man who used to work with me. Generally speaking, I am happy to help people out with recommendations, but this one is awkward. Even though it was many years ago, I thought this man did a terrible job when he worked with me. He was usually late for work. He often had a bad attitude. Most of all, he wasn’t good at his job.
He was young then, so I can assume that he has improved. But I don’t want to respond and give him a bad review. I don’t know how to reach him. I think it might be best for me to ignore the request. What do you think? -- Bad Recommendation
DEAR BAD RECOMMENDATION: This is curious. It could be that nobody else is willing to write this person a recommendation, and that’s why he resorted to you. It could be that this person does not realize how poorly you felt his work performance was. Who knows?
If you believe that your “recommendation” would be critical of this man in order for you to be honest, I would agree that you should just not complete the form. Because the whole process is electronic, you may be able to decline online without seeing or talking to anyone so that you formally close the loop. Otherwise, you can just not do it.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)