DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a small apartment building. Most of the people who live here know each other, but it would be inaccurate to say that we are all friends. There’s one guy who lives one floor below me who has decided that he is my friend. He stops by at all times of the day and night without invitation. I don’t like that. I deserve to have my privacy and to entertain who I want, not just him because he keeps coming over. The last straw was when he rang my bell after midnight and kept ringing until I answered. He had been drinking and was loud and obnoxious. I ended up letting him in so that he wouldn’t wake up all the neighbors, but I don’t want to let him in anymore. How should I handle this? -- Setting Boundaries
DEAR SETTING BOUNDARIES: Start by talking to your neighbor and letting him know you are not happy with his uninvited visits. Point out how upset you were when he showed up drunk, loud and late the other night. Warn him that if he does that again, you will call the police.
Speak to a few of your other neighbors to let them know what is going on. It will be important for others to have your back. You have to stay strong, though, and enforce your boundaries.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)