DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend whose husband is at least 20 years older than her. He is a nice man and has been lots of fun over the years, but now he is up in age and not doing so well.
Talking about age has always been a sensitive topic for her. In the early years, it was because they had way more things than the rest of us because he was more advanced in his career and had money. Now it is because he is not so healthy and uses a wheelchair. I want to be there for my friend, but I’m not sure how to get past her impenetrable wall of privacy. -- Support My Friend
DEAR SUPPORT MY FRIEND: Since your friend has been private all along, chances are slim that she is suddenly going to open up. That said, you can make it clear that you want to help her in any way that you can. Invite her out, just the two of you, and try to get her to talk a bit about her life as you share what’s going on in yours. State the obvious: You have noticed that her husband is a wheelchair user and doesn’t seem to be in great health. Ask if she needs any support. Remind her of good times that you have had together over the years, and speak of highlights that you know about her husband. Tell her that you respect him -- and her -- and that you would like to support in any way you can. That’s all you can do.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)