DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that a close family friend’s son came out as gay. I was happy that they trusted me enough to tell me. Now I wonder what I should do with this information. I am a gay man. Obviously, I am not interested in this teenage boy, but I do know a lot about the scene. More, I know about dealing with family after they learn that you are gay. Should I offer to be in contact with him? If so, should I reach out to him personally, or just talk to the parents? How should I ultimately address any rapport that develops between me and this young man with his parents, since they told me about his situation in the first place? -- Gay Living
DEAR GAY LIVING: Tell the parents that you would like their blessing to develop a rapport with their son. You know a lot about living as a gay man, and you would like to be there to support him. Make it clear that you will not be a spy. Instead, speak in generalities. You may tell them about the fact that you are becoming friends and that you talk about his life, but you will not serve as a go-between. Promise to be a sounding board and a moral compass for this young man. Then give reports when needed about his general development. Encourage him to talk to his parents directly about his choices.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)