DEAR HARRIETTE: I learned from an old friend from my hometown that my high school boyfriend still holds a flame for me. We dated 40 years ago; I have definitely moved on. I have a family -- a husband and children.
I am planning on visiting home this summer, and I want to get together with old friends. I thought to invite him, but I don’t want to stir up old emotions. How should I handle this? He is a nice guy who treated me well, but that was a thousand years ago. How do I talk to him now? -- Past Love
DEAR PAST LOVE: If you are willing and able to do this, it would be kind to have coffee with him independent of the other friends. Check in with him to see how he’s doing. Find out about his life. Let him know how grateful you are for the friendship you two had when you were young, and tell him about your life today. Make it clear that you are happy and content.
If he seems calm and rational, invite him to your group gathering. Just make sure your husband knows who this man is and what your history is so that there are no surprises.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)