Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Mom's Drug Use Hurts Her Family

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family goes to the shore every weekend to stay in a family cabin that we have had for a few generations. It’s very quaint and nice, but small. My daughter asked one of her friends to join us this summer. My husband and I approved, but now we have learned that this girl is high maintenance, and she and my daughter recently had a falling out. They aren’t speaking. I imagine that this will blow over. That’s what often happens in friendships, but I worry that this is the wrong time for her to visit us in such close quarters. We go there for a peaceful time, not for contention. Is it wrong for me to suggest that my daughter not bring her this summer? So far, they have gone without speaking for a month. -- Choosing Peace

DEAR CHOOSING PEACE: If the silent treatment has lasted that long, it’s OK to make a new plan for the summer. Your daughter should get the message to the friend that, given how things are between them right now, she thinks it would be best for her not to come to the cabin this summer. The message must be clear.

If your daughter invites anyone else, it should be a friend with whom she has a close, comfortable bond. Better still, it would be great if the person is relatively chill. Be mindful of the energy mix for all the people who will be assembled.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)