DEAR HARRIETTE: My hair has been mostly gray since I was in my early 30s. I can thank my mom for that. Her hair turned white by 35. I have been dying my hair for years because I’m not ready to go “natural,” so to speak.
My new boyfriend keeps trying to get me to let my hair grow out. He says I’m beautiful as I am, and I don’t need to worry with hair color. That’s sweet and all, but I’m not ready for this. I think that it’s hard enough for women to make it in the working world as we get older. I’m in my 40s, but I still look pretty young for my age. I am fit and take good care of myself. For me, dyeing my hair helps me to keep a youthful appearance. That is important to me. How can I get him to appreciate my decision to continue to dye my hair? -- No Gray
DEAR NO GRAY: Thank your boyfriend for loving you so completely, and ask him to extend his love for you to the ways in which you want to express yourself. For you, natural is not gray, at least not now. You enjoy dyeing your hair, and you would like for him to like it as well.
Tell him your thoughts about aging and the workplace. Get him to see your side of this topic. Acknowledge how nice it is that he doesn’t care about your hair color and that he values you the same. Point out that he is not your boss or your industry. Ask for his support in your decision-making.