DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met a great guy, but I found out he has two kids. I'm young. I don't feel ready to take on such an important role, but I really like this guy. I know his attention can never be fully on me. I don't want my selfish needs to get in the way, but I know I'll probably feel jealous if I continue to date him. I am unsure if I should tell him how I feel or just leave the situation entirely. -- Splitting Time
DEAR SPLITTING TIME: If you truly believe that you are not ready to be in a relationship that includes children, you should tell this man. It is beyond difficult for him to try to care for his children, do his job, navigate the dynamics with their mother and find time for a relationship. He needs a partner who is willing to be supportive of his children and who wants, eventually, to be part of their lives. If you are sure you aren’t ready for that, tell him. And yes, you probably should walk away, but don’t leave without explaining why. He deserves a partner who is ready for him and all that he brings to the table. You deserve the same thing.
Every relationship requires compromise. If you like each other enough, you may want to try to figure out what that compromise could be. Be honest. If you don’t want to offer what he needs, don’t pretend.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)