DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like too many people around me are getting sick. My best friend has been battling breast cancer for several years. Another close friend’s husband was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. My neighbor’s husband has metastatic prostate cancer. And that’s only the people closest to me. It is overwhelming for the ones who are sick and for their friends. I want to be a support to my friends, but I’m not sure how to do it. I am scared for them, and I don’t really know what to say. -- Supporting My Sick Friends
DEAR SUPPORTING MY SICK FRIENDS: The commitment that couples make when they marry comes to mind now -- in sickness and in health. Being a good friend to your loved ones who are fighting illness calls on that muscle that gives you the strength to stay by their side even when it’s tough. The way to be there is to be a good listener. You don’t need to try to solve any problems. Instead, just listen. Let your friends share their feelings, concerns and hopes. Resist the desire to try to solve their problems or be their doctor. Just be present in ways that make them feel supported and that don’t drain you too much.
You should also be vigilant about your own health. Be sure to get an annual complete physical, exercise regularly and eat a healthy, well-balanced diet.