DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my good friends decided to let her hair go gray. It looks nice on her, I suppose, but I have no interest in “going natural” like that yet. In my industry, it is hard for women to stay strong and vital after a certain age. Even though that sucks, I need my job and feel like keeping a youthful look helps me. My issue is that now my friend keeps pestering me to be like her and go gray. How can I get her to stop? -- Go Gray
DEAR GO GRAY: You hit a nerve when you start talking about image, age and work, especially for women. On one hand, we live in a time that is more welcoming to women. We have at least six women running for president of the United States. This is impressive. And yet, sexism still exists. Equal pay remains a dream rather than a reality for most women. And ageism, especially for women, is real in the workplace.
The good news regarding beauty and hair is that many women are feeling comfortable enough to choose different looks and colors. That your friend chose to go gray is fantastic for her. That you are making a different choice should be just as fine for you. Tell her that you begrudge her nothing for making her personal choice. Ask her to respect your choice and to stop badgering you to follow her lead.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)