DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I see one friend of mine, I bring him a gift of some kind. There’s no rule about it. I just love him and always want to bring him a token of my love. The thing is, he never gives me anything. He is nice to me when we are together, but he is pretty aloof otherwise. I like the attention I get when we are engaged, but I think I am too pliable. He doesn’t have to do anything but show up. Should I stop bringing him gifts? Am I going too far? -- Selfish Friend
DEAR SELFISH FRIEND: If you are feeling taken advantage of, slow down on your giving. You cannot expect your friend to pick up your practices. You are the one who likes to shower him with gifts. But if that doesn’t make you happy anymore, stop it. You also need to acknowledge that your friend is the way he is. If you have been accepting him unconditionally, it may seem jarring to him if you suddenly change.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)