DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating a nice guy for a few months now. He is so sweet to me. He is also so different from the guy I dated for several years who was never consistently attentive. That said, this guy has limited life experience. He grew up poor and hasn’t been exposed to much. Whenever we go out, there’s something new that he doesn’t know. I mean small stuff, like how to eat a formal meal or what to wear when you have to get dressed up. I know these things shouldn't matter so much, but they do. How can I educate him about some basic things without hurting his feelings? -- Step It Up
DEAR STEP IT UP: First, you have to figure out if you value this man enough to want to share more of your world with him as you also learn about his. Don’t start coaching him unless you are in it for the long haul. If you are, be honest. Tell him you want to share some pointers with him that may be helpful as you negotiate your way in life together. Ask for his blessing to teach you. Then take it easy. Don’t inundate him with a list of his mistakes. Share the details about social graces with him over time.
Also, be sure to pay attention to what he teaches you. His lessons will likely be just as beneficial.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)