DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who I am sort of interested in, but I'm not at all ready to be in a serious romantic relationship with. He is very interested in being with me. Nearly every day he talks about wanting to take the relationship further. I do not really see him as husband material right now, but he does have great qualities. I want to take my time to get to know him better before making any kind of commitment. He keeps pressing. Should I continue to see if we mesh well, or is it a complete waste of time? -- Is He the One?
DEAR IS HE THE ONE: Don’t give in to the pressure from this man. If you like him enough to continue spending time with him to see what may come of your relationship, tell him as much. Be sure to state your boundaries. Let him know that you are not ready to be romantically involved. Be specific as to what that means.
Being affectionate is a natural next step in a relationship after spending time together and growing closer. Sexual intimacy is a completely different level of connection. If this is what you are not ready to engage in, tell him directly. For some men, that is a deal breaker; for others, they are willing to wait. You should find out where this man stands and be clear about your position. If he is unwilling to wait, you may have your answer right there.