DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman volunteered to help me at an event I hosted a few months ago. She had smart ideas and did a good job, but she brought a whole lot of drama with her. She was loud. She is a chain smoker, so she kept having to go outside for cigarette breaks; every time she walked back in, a cloud of smoke trailed her. Generally, her energy was a bit off-putting.
This woman recently reached out to me to say she wants to help out at my next event. I am not sure I want to do that. I appreciate her generosity, but I worry that just being herself will be too much for me. How do I handle this? I want to be sensitive to her. I can’t really say, "I don’t want you because I don’t like the way you behave," can I? -- Not a Good Fit
DEAR NOT A GOOD FIT: You can graciously decline her offer. How? Respond to her, thanking her for her offer to support you. Then tell her that you have the help you need already and you will not be needing her services. It can be that simple. You do not owe her an explanation.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)