DEAR HARRIETTE: In a letter published in late January, an individual wrote to you asking if he could deposit a check he had received as a Christmas gift the previous year and had recently found. You said, “Shred that check and chalk it up to your mistake.” You also said, “Sadly, many people misplace gift checks.”
That being said, I feel the person should explain the situation to the gift-giver. He should show the gift-giver the outdated check, apologize and explain that is why a thank-you note was never sent. Then let the matter drop. The ball is in the gift-giver’s court as to what he wants to do -- if anything. -- Lost Gift Check
DEAR LOST GIFT CHECK: Thank you for your thoughtful letter. I like the idea of letting the gift-giver know that the reason you did not send a thank-you note is because you just discovered the check. That allows closure to an awkward situation. I’m not sure that it’s a great idea to present the check to the person, however. That puts pressure on the gift-giver to write a new check. Who knows what that person’s financial situation is a whole year later? The gift was intended at the time it was given. Letting the person know that you just discovered it and that you apologize for misplacing it and not saying thanks is enough in my book.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)