DEAR HARRIETTE: I am lactose intolerant, and my family knows this. Yet whenever I come over for dinner, they serve creamy food. Heavy sauces and cheeses are in virtually every dish. I don’t understand it. I believe they love me. I remind them that I have dietary restrictions, but they don’t take my needs into account at all. I take Lactaid with me so that I don’t get sick, but I really don’t want to put all of that milk in my body in the first place. What can I do? -- Allergic to Family Dinners
DEAR ALLERGIC TO FAMILY DINNERS: It’s time to start cooking. In anticipation of your family gatherings, whip up a couple of dishes that you can eat and that can contribute to the overall meal. Since you have a sense of what they prepare, create your lactose-free version of one of those dishes, or simply bring something that you love that may appeal to others.
You can let them know that you are coming with dinner contributions or simply show up with them. If you are challenged about why you suddenly started bringing food, tell them that you cannot eat most of the food that they prepare, and you need some alternatives that are healthy for you.