Sense & Sensitivity

Boyfriend's Smelly Feet Bring Down the Mood

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going out with a really nice guy for about a year. He spends the night at my house occasionally. I like that part, but what I hate is that his feet stink. When he takes off his shoes, the room fills with the smell of dirty socks. It’s gross. I now light candles when I think he’s going to come over, but that feels like a ridiculous mask for the funk. I need to tell him. What should I say? -- Stinky Feet

DEAR STINKY FEET: I may run the risk of sounding sexist here, but I am going to tell you something that I learned early on that seems to be true for many men before they get into long-term relationships. In the spirit of being well-balanced, I will add that perhaps it is true for single women, too. I don’t know.

Here it is: Many men have to be taught to be more sensitive to grooming and hygiene at the beginning of relationships. If they live alone or with other guys as roommates, they might not wash their clothes regularly, or they wear socks multiple times before washing. Generally, bachelors may not be as fastidious as men in relationships.

Enter a partner. This is you. If you want your guy to pay closer attention to his dirty socks, tell him. Be kind and use humor. Let him know that his socks are more fragrant than the dinner on the table or whatever else has an obvious aroma. Ask him when he last washed those socks. You don’t necessarily have to offer to wash them, but you may need to point him in the direction of more careful grooming. Let him know you want him to be clean for you. If you suggest it in an enticing way rather than a judgmental one, the smell may go away!

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