DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to be the member of my family who seemed to have it all together. I have never had a lot of money, but I used to do much better than I am doing now. Recently, my finances became a source of ridicule and judgment when I was unable to participate in a special group activity. I am so embarrassed that I don’t have my money right. Sometimes I feel like my family would be better off if I just disappeared. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I also don’t want to be the one who can’t pitch in. I do have a healthy life insurance policy. If I die, they would all have money. I wonder if they would be happier then? -- Feeling Deflated
DEAR FEELING DEFLATED: Being embarrassed about financial challenges is real, and many people experience this feeling when others discover their financial status. I am sorry that your life has not unfolded in the way that you envisioned. The fact is, though, that you have to deal with what you are facing. You must remain honest with yourself and your family members in order to create any sort of peace in your life.
As it relates to your insurance, please do not think that your family’s struggles will end if you die. They will miss you and mourn for you. Stop imagining the what-ifs of your demise. If you need help to get past that, get a therapist or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)