DEAR HARRIETTE: A new restaurant just opened up in my neighborhood, right next door to a restaurant that has been dying on the vine for years. I am friendly with the owner of the old spot, and I feel kind of bad going to the new place, but I want to check it out. It is drawing crowds of new customers, and, as they say, there’s a lot of heat around it. But it’s sad and awkward to see the old restaurant sitting there empty. I feel bad when they see me go over to the new place. I have stopped going to their place because I’m not sure what to say. What should I do? -- Split Loyalty
DEAR SPLIT LOYALTY: If you still like the old place, don’t give it up entirely just because a new one has joined the block. Be brave and go to both. When you visit at your friend’s place, do not feel that you have to give a report about the new place. Instead, just be present and with them during your time together. If they ask you questions about the new establishment, tell the truth. Be careful not to bad-mouth the other place because you are with your friend. Be neutral and honest. If you notice things they can do that may enhance their own experience, you can share, but be careful. You do not want to be in the position of savior. Stay in the role of friend.
You can tell your friend that you will always appreciate them and be a customer, but you do intend to visit the other restaurant from time to time.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)