DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to a bridal shower but was unable to attend because of a last-minute scheduling conflict. I feel bad because I really like the woman who is getting married. I was wondering if I should get her a gift anyway. I already know that I will not be able to attend the wedding. It is a destination wedding, and a little pricey for my wallet. But I want to do something for her. Do I get her a shower gift and a wedding gift, even though I won't be attending either? What do you recommend? -- WHAT TO GIVE
DEAR WHAT TO GIVE: Think about the bride and what she would appreciate. If she has a registry for the shower and for the wedding, peruse each of them. You may be able to find affordable items that show your love for her without breaking the bank. You might also consider writing a check that you put in a lovely congratulatory card for your friend.
While you do not have to give her anything, a small token of your love for her and her new life with her husband will be greatly appreciated.