DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a duplex building with my cousin. I have a pretty simple life, but my cousin is another matter entirely. He is an attractive young man in his early 20s, and he constantly has women coming in and out of the house. I know because I often run into them. I get that he doesn’t have to have a steady girlfriend, but this is ridiculous. I know it’s only a matter of time before one of them runs into another. Plus, I worry about my cousin’s health. You can’t be that promiscuous without the chance of contracting some type of STI.
What can I say to my cousin to get him to think differently about his choices? For me, if he keeps this up, I want to move. I don’t want to be in the middle of what will surely soon be a mess. I moved here hoping to have peace and a bit of protection by having my male cousin in the same house. -- Promiscuous Housemate
DEAR PROMISCUOUS HOUSEMATE: You are smart to know that you have no power in getting your cousin to curb his promiscuity. This is his life and how he chooses to live it. You are also smart to consider that things could get ugly if one woman discovers another when they are coming and going from your building. Your best bet is to tell your cousin how you feel: You are disappointed in what you consider to be his reckless behavior, and you believe it is unsafe and unsavory for you to stay in this environment. Tell him that you intend to move if he continues.
Start looking for a new place right away. You have no reason to believe that his behavior will change. Just know that when you move to another location, you will have to deal with whatever your new neighbors’ proclivities are. So weigh the odds before you take your next step.