Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Wife Resents Husband's Ability to Lose Weight

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are in our late 50s, and we are working hard to get fit. My husband is much further along, as he is way more disciplined than I am. But we are both working on it.

I am beginning to feel defeated, mostly because I am not disciplined enough. But also, my husband has lost about 20 pounds and a bunch of inches, while I think I have gained. How can I maintain enthusiasm when I am feeling like a failure? -- Weight Loss

DEAR WEIGHT LOSS: Don’t measure yourself against your husband. If you can, find a buddy with whom you can work out, someone who is less threatening than your husband. What you need is motivation to keep moving your body and making smart choices.

Suggest to your husband that you work together to create meals that are low-calorie and healthy. You can work together and on your own or with a buddy. If you make smart choices consistently, it will lead you to better health. Do your best to stop competing with your husband. Men tend to lose weight faster than women. Let him be an inspiration to you, rather than an unpleasant competition. Consider that you are in this life together to be your best. Right now, you both have the same goal.