Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Girlfriend Doesn't Acknowledge Partner Online

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend spends a ton of time on social media, but she doesn’t like or comment on my posts. She is blowing up social media on the regular -- making comments on many of her friends’ pages, but she hardly ever says anything on mine, and we are supposed to be a couple. Sometimes, I even feel like she is flirting with people online. When I ask her about this, she says she wants to keep her personal life private. I don’t know how I feel about that. Some of her posts sound personal, but they are with people who are peripheral to her.

I have asked her to engage with me on social media, but she doesn’t do it. Otherwise, we seem to be cool, but I don’t like being invisible when I’m supposed to be her guy. -- Invisible Man

DEAR INVISIBLE MAN: The world of social media is increasingly more complicated, in part because it is hard to separate real life from cyber life. Perhaps your girlfriend is trying to do that by keeping you and your life with her separate from her social media orbit.

Before losing your cool, evaluate whether her offline behaviors demonstrate commitment and honest connection to you and your relationship. It could be true that she wants to keep you out of the social media fray. The flirting part is another matter. Talk to her about that directly. Ultimately, both of you need to be comfortable with the ways in which you engage each other and the rest of the world, including cyber connections. Communication is key here. Talk it out, even if it’s hard to do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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