DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently met a nice guy at the gym. Not only is he nice, he is also super buff. I asked him what he does to get such a great body, and he told me that he was incarcerated for a few years, and working out was how he kept his head. This admission scared me. I didn’t expect him to talk about doing time. I have never met anybody before who admitted to being in prison.
I didn’t ask him what he did to land in prison. Part of me feels like it is too pushy to ask, but if I don’t know, I don’t think I could be comfortable dating him. Do you think it’s OK to ask? What if I find out that he did something really bad? -- Ex-Con Date, Raleigh, North Carolina
DEAR EX-CON DATE: If you want to get to know this man better, be direct and ask him to tell you his story. You want to know who he is and what he has done. The more you learn, the better you will be able to decide if getting to know him more and dating him is worth it. Don’t decide until you get the whole story. People do make mistakes. He may be in a new place, ready to forge ahead.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)