DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend invited me to spend time with her and her family at their summer home last month. We went and had a great time. We also brought food with us, as my mom taught me to do. I think we were good guests, but I’m not sure. My friend didn’t seem to like that we had brought food. She told me that she had everything covered. We just wanted to contribute to the experience. Should I say something to her? We talk a lot. I would hate for her to have been offended by something that I thought would make her happy. -- Flustered Houseguest, Brooklyn, New York
DEAR FLUSTERED HOUSEGUEST: You may want to send your friend a thank-you note. This is a common action after enjoying time at someone’s summer home. In your note, you can thank your friend for the time you had together. Tell her how much you enjoyed being in her home. You can add that you hope she wasn’t offended by the food you brought. Tell her the truth: Your mother told you never to arrive at someone’s home empty-handed. Close with an acknowledgment of your gratitude for having been invited.
If you are invited again, just bring her a hostess gift, a small memento that she may enjoy -- anything from flowers to a candle, a book or something else you think she or her guests may appreciate. FYI: Many people love when guests bring food items, especially fruit or pre-made desserts.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)