DEAR HARRIETTE: I am friendly with my boss’s niece. I didn’t realize they were related at first. My friend and I have known each other much longer than I have worked for her aunt. This might not have meant anything, except that my boss, her aunt, is a pain in the butt. She complains and is negative about everything. She picks at me constantly, but she also picks at other employees.
I need my job, but I appreciate being able to unload about the stuff that bothers me at work with my friends. Do you think I should keep my feelings from my boss’s niece? I usually talk to her about everything, but I don’t want to jeopardize my job or make my friend uncomfortable. -- Mum's the Word, San Diego
DEAR MUM’S THE WORD: You need to be practical. You know already that you should not tell your boss’s niece about your gripes with her aunt. It is unfair to the niece and dangerous to you. You cannot expect your friend to keep your secret -- even if she promises to do so. If she has a relationship with her aunt, she will want to tell her at some time, possibly to help her to improve her employee relations. Resist the temptation to talk about your boss with this woman. Stay neutral or let your friend know that conversation about work is off limits now, given that she and your boss are related. Then don’t bring it up. Choose other friends to talk to, if needed.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)