DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new colleague who started off being friendly but has ended up being overbearing. She lives in my neighborhood, so before I figured out that she was too much for me to manage as a friend, I took exercise walks with her. We sometimes went to the gym together. We talk on the phone, and it’s always interesting, but she is pretty negative. She dreams about projects she wants to pursue, but right after discussing that, she complains about everything else in her life. I am a peaceful person and realize that I don’t want to hear all of the complaints, especially first thing in the morning. I don’t want to cut her out of my life altogether, but I do need to limit our interaction. How can I do that without hurting her feelings? -- Limited Engagement, Boston
DEAR LIMITED ENGAGEMENT: Without feeling guilty, you can curb your morning fitness routines with this woman. Just tell her that now that fall has arrived, you want to go back to your core routine, which is solo and contemplative, so you want to go alone.
Choose specific time periods that work for you to spend time with this woman. This doesn’t have to be weekly. It can be as you feel comfortable. You can also stop her when she starts going down a negative path. You can literally ask her to refrain from going to that dark place. Tell her you enjoy her company, but when she goes negative, it makes you uncomfortable.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)