DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a high-rise, and my next-door neighbor is super friendly. She works from home, and sometimes I do as well. It is common for her to ring my bell just to chitchat in the middle of the day. I don’t have time for that! During the day, I am working. Even sometimes at night, I am relaxing and do not want to have company. She is from the Midwest, and she tells me that it is common for folks in her hometown to visit with each other on a daily basis. That’s fine for her, but not for me. How can I draw the line so that my neighbor doesn’t practically move in? -- Testing the Limits, Los Angeles
DEAR TESTING THE LIMITS: Start by telling your neighbor that you mean no harm, but you do not have an open-door policy. Make it clear that you are often working at home and do not have time to stop to chat in the middle of your day. As far as after hours, just tell her that you are not like her. You appreciate her openness and friendliness, but you are more of a recluse. You like being alone or seeing people on a scheduled basis. Apologize in advance for not always being available to spend time with her. Don’t answer the door if you don’t want to have company.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)