Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Son Sees Himself Reflected in New School

DEAR HARRIETTE: My adult son just decided he had had enough of his job, which he has hated for several years, so he quit. I couldn’t believe it. I understand that you can be disgruntled at work, but I was taught to keep your nose to the grindstone and tough it out -- unless, of course, you are being abused. He just didn’t like it. Now he has asked to move back home while he figures out what he wants to do next. I am furious. He should have made a plan that allowed for him to find another job so that he could remain self-sufficient. I don’t want to say no to my son about coming home, but I also do not want to enable him. How should I handle this? -- Uncommitted Son, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR UNCOMMITTED SON: Welcome your son home -- with provisions. Give him a lease with a fixed rent that he must pay monthly. Help him create a timeline for finding a job and saving money. Schedule weekly meetings where he must present his plans. If he does not agree to your terms, tell him he has to live somewhere else.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)