Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Reader Angry When Friend Dumps His Ex

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends was dating an ex-girlfriend of mine, which I thought was great. She is a nice woman who deserves a good man, but she is bipolar. I just couldn’t manage her mood swings. I tried, but the roller coaster of her emotions and behavior was too much for me. We broke up amicably.

When my friend started dating her, I didn’t mention her diagnosis, but I did caution him to treat her well. I even made him promise me that he wouldn’t leave her, so I was angry when I learned that they broke up. I’m mad at him for not sticking it out with her. She has been through so much. I feel bad for her. Should I say anything to him? -- Concerned Ex, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR CONCERNED EX: Reach out to your ex to make sure she is OK. As her friend, you can check in on her. Be careful not to promise anything that you cannot deliver.

As far as speaking to your friend, step back for a moment. Think about yourself. You weren’t able to stay with your ex. You don’t know what happened to cause their breakup -- and it’s none of your business. Further, you cannot make somebody promise to stay in a relationship. Heck, even married people have difficulty staying together. You are peripheral to their relationship. Now is not the time for you to get involved.