DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school senior, and I have a sister who is a freshman. We were raised in a conservative home with two loving parents. My parents considered me the "golden child" because I always got good grades and stayed out of trouble. My sister, on the other hand, is the "black sheep." She is rebellious, doesn’t do well in school and is constantly in trouble. Coming into high school, she had a bad reputation, and she hasn’t made it any better for herself through her actions this past year.
My parents are aware of my sister's flunking grades, but I don’t think they are as aware of her actions. I don’t want to rat her out, but I do think that she needs to calm down because I’m starting to worry about her. Do you think that I should have a talk with my sister before I get my parents involved? -- Worried Older Sister, Milwaukee
DEAR WORRIED OLDER SISTER: You should have an ongoing dialogue with your sister. Don’t lecture her. Try to find out what’s going on. You already represent everything she is not, so be mindful not to act like you’ve got it all together. Instead, express your concern for her. Ask her what she wants to do with her life after high school. Suggest that she give that some thought so she can make a plan. You will be leaving in a year, and you want her to be all right when you are gone.
If you suspect that she is involved in something that is dangerous or harmful, you should tell your parents -- even if you worry that she will get mad at you.