DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a teenage daughter who is about to go away to college. I have noticed that she wears clothing that is too revealing, in my view. She wears a lot of sheer clothing, high midriffs and low-rise pants. I know a lot of girls wear these clothes, but hers always seem extreme. Her shorts tend to be the tightest and shortest. Everything seems to be exaggerated on her. She doesn’t listen to me when I suggest that her attire isn’t appropriate for certain environments. She does have a cousin who is close to her and me. Do you think it would be OK for me to ask her cousin to talk to her? -- Scantily Clad Teen, Rochester, New York
DEAR SCANTILY CLAD TEEN: Do you know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”? Now is the time for you to engage the village. If your daughter refuses to listen to you, call on her cousin. You have to start by asking the cousin what she thinks about your daughter’s attire and whether she agrees with you. If she does share your opinion, ask her to share her thoughts with your daughter. It will be important for her to hear from a peer what her clothing projects to others, including potential employers or dates. If there are other teens or young adults you can get to talk to her, line them up.
Since your daughter does still live at home under your roof, you can also draw the line on what you think is too scandalous. You can tell her that certain outfits are off limits and cannot leave the house. She will get mad, but hopefully she will also get the message.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)