DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom’s boyfriend proposed to her last week. They have been seeing each other for two years, and he makes her happy. I'm not close with him, so I don’t know how I feel about this.
I have such a strong relationship with my dad that I know no man will ever fill his shoes. Sometimes my mom’s boyfriend will try to act like a paternal figure, as if I don’t have one. I know he is trying hard and just wants my siblings and me to like him, but I think he tries too hard. We have an amicable relationship, and I’m happy to see my mom happy, but I still don’t know how I feel about him. Is that normal, considering my mom is going to be marrying this man? -- Mom Marries New Man, Boston
DEAR MOM MARRIES NEW MAN: This is often an awkward moment for families, especially when your dad still figures prominently in your life. Talk to your mother about expectations. What does she hope your relationship will become with her soon-to-be-husband? Make it clear to her that you remain close with your father and you do not want her fiance to be a father figure. Establish what the goal is, and work toward that. At the very least, be respectful and kind to him.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)