DEAR HARRIETTE: My good friends have invited my husband and me to go on vacation with them three years in a row, but we have always declined. It’s secretly because my husband, who is not an American citizen, has lost his passport. To get a new one takes a lot of work -- including getting paperwork from his country. He has a green card. He is legal, but he hasn’t taken the steps to get a new passport. I am so frustrated by this. Since our friends don’t know our real reason for not joining them, they think we don’t like them. I didn’t want to tell them about my husband’s immigration and passport status as I find it embarrassing and irresponsible. What can I do to help solve this dilemma? Prompting my husband hasn’t worked so far. -- No Passport, Denver
DEAR NO PASSPORT: This is a tough situation because you can’t do much. All you can do is find out exactly what is needed to complete the passport process and present that to your husband. You should also talk to him about becoming an American citizen. Since he is married to you, it could be an easy process, even now. Finally, you might consider going on the trip with your friends without him. That might wake him up.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)