DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in the entertainment industry and love my job. I am surrounded by creative and wonderful people. I am 99 percent sure that both of my bosses are gay men. (I am a straight young woman.) They have both been constantly winking at me. Is that weird? Or am I just used to gross straight men winking at me when it’s not wanted? I don’t think this qualifies as sexual harassment of any kind and I don’t even think it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don’t know what to make of it. -- Accidental Wink, Ithaca, New York
DEAR ACCIDENTAL WINK: If you are up for it, ask them what their winks mean the next time you notice it. You can be upbeat when you ask. Humor is a great way to break the ice and address awkward situations. Behavior doesn’t have to be considered harassment in order to be uncomfortable. You can tell them that you are finding it difficult to read some of their behaviors toward you, and you want to know what they mean. They will probably be surprised and may not even realize how they have been behaving. Your alerting them may make a difference.
Since it is odd to you but not untoward, don’t make a big deal of it. If they give you an answer, take it at face value. Ultimately, know that people can be awkward and clumsy with each other even when they are well-meaning. This may just be a sign of their idiosyncrasies.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)