DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I get drunk, I fight with my boyfriend. What makes it worse is that we are dating long-distance, so I don’t even see him in person; it’s all over text. I never have the intention of fighting with him, but it always happens. It upsets me so much, and I always end up crying the next morning. I will say things that I regret and don’t mean. He and I have been dating for two years now, and he says he doesn’t even care anymore because I do it so often. But I care. I am ashamed that I call him names when I drink. I know that if it continues, he’ll grow tired of it and want to break up. I don’t want to lose him. Do I need to stop drinking? -- Drunk Girlfriend, Cleveland
DEAR DRUNK GIRLFRIEND: Hopefully the challenges you have been experiencing are showing you something even more important than how your long-distance boyfriend reacts: You have a problem. You are aware of it.
Yes, repeatedly drinking too much and spouting off while drunk are signs of a drinking problem. Not being able to control your behavior when you drink is a problem that you should deal with head-on. You could lose your boyfriend if you don’t address your problem, but honestly, you can lose a lot more than that. Get help now. You can start by going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Look them up online in your area.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)