DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents recently divorced after 25 years of marriage. It was an amicable split, which was nice for the family because it didn’t cause many problems. Now that they live separately, they both have their own, separate, family gatherings, and a lot of these gatherings fall on the same days. This had been tough for me because each parent thinks I should be at their party over the other’s. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to go to either of them. I try to split up and spend time at both, but it’s never good enough. I try telling them, but they don’t listen to me. What do you think I should do? -- Annoyed Daughter, Seattle
DEAR ANNOYED DAUGHTER: While the divorce may have been amicable, the aftermath is at best unthoughtful as it relates to you. Tell them you need them to pick separate dates for events or take turns with holiday celebrations. Point out that if they continue to try to guilt you into being with one or the other of them, the result is that they will end up pushing you away from both of them. You may need to stay away for a few cycles of gatherings until they get the point.