DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 27 years old, and my son is 6. I work and make a decent amount of money, but not enough to move out of my parents' home. I’m tired of living under their roof because of their negative attitude toward me. They always tell me I’m a disappointment and that I don’t do anything, but I contribute to paying bills and make sure to bring food to the house. I understand that it’s their house and their rules, but I think I should still be respected. What can I do to change this? -- Need to Move, Austin, Texas
DEAR NEED TO MOVE: It sounds like you are living in an unhealthy environment. It does not help for your parents to disparage you. This is tough on your child as well, and could have lasting effects.
What can you do? Start by speaking to your parents and reminding them of what you are doing to set your life on course. Point out the ways in which you help in the home, and acknowledge that you appreciate them letting you and your child stay there.
Tell your parents that it is upsetting to you that they continually disparage you. Explain that it hurts your feelings and makes your child uncomfortable. Ask them if they can try to be kinder. At the same time, start looking for another living situation. Look for a roommate who would be comfortable with a mother and child. Explore your options until you find something that is affordable and suitable for you. Your plan must be to find a place of your own.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)