DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years, and our families finally met last week. Despite the similarities my boyfriend and I share with each other, our families did not seem to have much in common. I never thought about this before, considering they had never met, but now I'm getting worried. My boyfriend and I are both family-oriented, and I’m worried that our families’ differences are going to get in the way of our relationship. Do you think that our families could negatively affect our relationship down the line? -- Family Differences, Memphis, Tennessee
DEAR FAMILY DIFFERENCES: You haven’t expressed what the differences are, so it is hard to say whether you can overcome them. I will say that it is important in long-term relationships and marriages for the couple to figure out ways to get along with both families. It is also often important for both families to be able to get together peacefully at least once a year if they live nearby. Many families are much more actively involved in each other’s lives, though. You will have to figure out what works for you.
What’s most important is for you and your boyfriend to determine what your shared values are and what you want in life. Next, evaluate your family differences, and talk about them to see if anything feels like a deal breaker. If you stand united about family dynamics, you create space to be able to navigate whatever comes your way.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)