DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and we have such an amazing relationship. However, he lives in Seattle and I live in Philadelphia, so we see each other only every couple of months. The other night, I went out with a couple of my girlfriends, and we ran into my ex. I never thought twice about him because I am so in love with my current boyfriend, but I was shocked when I saw him. We ended up talking for quite some time, and after our conversation ended, he kissed me. I think cheating is the most awful thing to do to a person, and I have never done it before.
I haven’t told my boyfriend about the kiss yet because I don’t want us to break up over something that meant nothing, but I know if it were the other way around, I would be devastated. Do you think I should tell my boyfriend about what happened? -- Cheating Girlfriend, Philadelphia
DEAR CHEATING GIRLFRIEND: If you feel like you cheated by talking to your ex or letting him kiss you, you should tell your boyfriend. You may want to wait until you see him next, which will give you perspective on the situation. Was it a one-off, or have the two of you reconnected in any way? If it is the former, you can honestly tell your boyfriend that you ran into your ex and it was intense but meaningless. If sparks continue to fly, you will need to report that and figure out what you want to do next.
Long-distance relationships can work, but they are fraught with challenges -- not the least of which is managing outside attractions.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)