DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been friends with my best friend since we were 8 years old. She’s more like a sister than a friend. We’re now both in college, but remain very close. Whenever I FaceTime her, call her or even go to visit her at college, her roommate gives me the cold shoulder. She is rude to me for no reason, and we don’t get along. It may sound weird, but I think she gets jealous of how close my friend and I are. How do I handle this situation so that it's not awkward every time we see each other? -- Battle of the Friends, Philadelphia
DEAR BATTLE OF THE FRIENDS: As friends make transitions in their lives, many interpersonal dynamics change. That includes how you interact as young adults compared to as little girls. Both you and your best friend need to figure out how to stay close without alienating her roommate. Why? Because her roommate is there every day, and your friend must cultivate a way to live with her peacefully.
This does not mean that you should walk away from your friendship. You should work together to make the roommate feel welcome when you are together. Include her when you talk via FaceTime and especially when you are together. You may even want to speak to her together about starting over so that you can get along better. Sometimes calling out the elephant in the room is helpful.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)