DEAR HARRIETTE: My older sister attacked me; this isn’t the first time, either. She has always had this grudge against me because she thinks I’m the favorite child. All I do is be there for her and show her I love her. I even got her a job. She was happy at first when I helped her get the job at the restaurant I work at, but now she’s asking to take my hours, and I told her I need them to save money for an internship I want to do in Europe. She yelled at me, saying I’m selfish and don’t care about her; I don’t understand why she would say that.
I’ve realized her emotions switch quickly, and I'm afraid she has some type of personality disorder. How can I suggest she see someone about her emotions? -- Concerned Sister, Santa Monica, California
DEAR CONCERNED SISTER: If your parents are still living and involved in your life, now would be a time to enlist their support. It’s likely that your sister will lash out at you when you confront her, so moral support for both of you is advisable. In terms of the job, be clear with your boss what hours you need, and let your sister pave her own way. Don’t make excuses for her, though. You don’t want her behavior to cost you your job.
When you are away from the job, have a heart-to-heart with your sister. Tell her how concerned you are that she is behaving erratically. Point out specifics, including when she recently attacked you. Suggest that she may have some issues she should deal with, based upon the behavior you have been noticing. Tell her you don’t want her to lose her job or her relationships, but if she continues the way she’s going, bad things are likely to happen.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)