DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of six grandchildren on my mother's side. My grandmother likes to spend a lot of time with her grandchildren, so we see her a lot. Throughout my entire life, I have always been the least close with my grandma. She has clear favorites, and I seem to rank last on the list. It has gotten to the point where on my birthday I don't even receive a birthday card, whereas my siblings and cousins get endless gifts and cards. It hadn’t bothered me until now, and I want to speak to her about it. Do you think I should talk to my parents or go straight to my grandmother and tell her how I have been feeling? -- Left-Out Grandchild, Milwaukee
DEAR LEFT-OUT GRANDCHILD: If you feel strong enough emotionally to address this with your grandmother, go for it. Chances are, you will get the best answer if you ask yourself. Be mindful not to put her on the defensive, though, because she may retaliate rather than explain whatever is in her head. Approach her gingerly. Tell her you want to ask her a question. Ask her if you have done something to offend her, or if something happened that made her not care as much for you. If she rejects your feelings, tell her that you feel like she ignores you, while at the same time doting over her other grandchildren. Point out the most recent birthday snub as an example. In the end, tell her that you wish you had a closer relationship.