DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been trying to start a family for about a year. We have had some trouble conceiving, and I have suffered two miscarriages. My husband and I want a child, but maybe now is not the time for us. My husband insists that it is and wants to keep trying. How do I suggest to him that maybe we should take a break? I don’t want to come off as not wanting to start a family with him, but at the same time, I am emotionally and physically drained from all this baby stuff! -- Pause Starting a Family, Wilmington, Delaware
DEAR PAUSE STARTING A FAMILY: Now is a perfect time to bring your doctor into the picture. Schedule an appointment where you get a checkup on your health and guidance on when it is advised to start trying to conceive again. Tell your doctor about your trepidation, and ask for support. You may want to see a psychologist who can help you through the trauma of the two miscarriages.
I went through a miscarriage, and it was devastating for me. Even though it also upset my husband, honestly, there was something about the physical and emotional havoc that it wreaked on me that was unfathomable for him -- at least on some levels. It may take you longer to be ready to try again. Your husband may need a lot of support in understanding what you are going through. Therapy for both of you can be beneficial.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)