DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 54 years old. I have been married to the same man for 27 years. We fell out of love about 10 years ago, but still live under the same roof and raise our children together. We are civil toward each other, but we both know that we are not meant to be married. I have not left for financial reasons. When we had our first child, my husband and I decided that I would stay at home and raise the children while he worked. Everything we have is from the money he earned for our family. The house, the car and all of our other belongings are under his name. What should I do? Do I stay married to a man I am estranged from and be financially stable, or divorce him and risk starting from nothing? -- Should I Get a Divorce?, Los Angeles
DEAR SHOULD I GET A DIVORCE?: What you should do is get a good lawyer. In your state, the law suggests that you would split the resources that exist in your family, whether your husband is the principal breadwinner or not. You do not need to stay in a loveless marriage to be financially stable. Talk to an attorney, and figure out how to proceed legally. Know your rights.
You don’t have to ask for a divorce immediately. Instead, talk to your husband about your life and ask him what he wants to do. Tell him your concerns and talk through your options. It may be easier than you think.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)