Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Job Seeker Applies at Family Friend's Company

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I are both about to finish graduate school. We attend different universities in New York City. My graduation is a week before my boyfriend's. On my graduation weekend, my boyfriend had previously agreed to attend a bachelor party in Las Vegas, so he is unable to attend my graduation ceremony. This made me really upset and has created a lot of arguments between him and me. I don't want to sound petty, but since he is not coming to my graduation, do I have to go to his? -- Graduation Dilemma, Boston

DEAR GRADUATION DILEMMA: You have every right to have hurt feelings. Both of your graduations are a big deal. It is unfortunate that your boyfriend cannot attend yours, but if it really is true that he booked this trip before knowing your date, it could be an honest mistake.

I do not recommend reacting out of hurt feelings and spite. If you are available to attend your boyfriend's graduation, you should go. Unless you think you are ending your relationship, you should not choose this moment to take a stand.

(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)