Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Reader Must Decide Which Path to Take

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently offered a job in New York City, where I live. It is a position at a very cool startup with young people like me. My partner, who lives and works in Austin, Texas, has just asked me to move in with him. I am having trouble deciding which path I should choose. On one hand, I would enjoy working for the startup, but I would hate being apart from my partner. On the other hand, if I moved to Austin, I would be happy living with him, but might not find a great job right away. Should love trump a career, or vice versa? -- Fork in the Road, New York City

DEAR FORK IN THE ROAD: Have you and your partner talked about long-term plans? You should consider moving to Austin based on what the two of you want for your life together. While you may not be ready to say you are ready for marriage, you should have some sense of shared goals before you make such a move. Further, many committed couples agree to long-distance relationships as they each build their careers. Is that easy? No, but it affords each of you time to pursue your work.

Shy of the long-distance route, you may want to apply to a few companies in Austin and see if you can find a job that will satisfy you. Don’t turn down the New York City job until you have fully thought the whole situation through and discussed it with your partner.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been a dancer my whole life. My parents signed me up for dance classes when I was a little girl, and it stuck with me through high school, as I am part of a private dance company. I love the feeling I get when I dance, and I can’t picture my life without it.

I am about to graduate from high school and go to college. Right now, I’m not sure I want to join my college’s dance team. From what I have been told about the team, it is a huge time commitment. How can I continue my passion for dancing without it taking up all my time? -- Dance Team Commitment, Atlanta

DEAR DANCE TEAM COMMITMENT: Since you love dance so much, why not try the college dance team and see how it goes? You may find that it provides much-needed balance in your life, even if it is demanding. If it becomes too much, you can always drop it. Alternatively, sign up for dance classes that will keep you in the flow without having to commit to all of the team activities.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)