DEAR HARRIETTE: My son just started dating. I am happy for him, but the problem is that he brings all the girls that he is dating around family and for family events. I don’t mind him inviting his friends, but the status of these relationships is confusing. He doesn’t introduce each young lady as his “girlfriend,” but the way they interact makes family assume they are together.
I want my son to stay open and have him tell me about his dating life, but bringing around his casual dates is beginning to get complicated. How do I tell him to bring only the girls he’s serious about around instead of bringing a different one to every family event? -- Revolving Door Dates, Minneapolis
DEAR REVOLVING DOOR DATES: This is a tricky situation. On one hand, it is great that your son feels comfortable enough to bring any of his dates around the family. He is not interested in hiding his dating activity, which is commendable. On the other hand, the confusion that multiple girlfriends on his arm can bring is real. Keeping track of who’s who can create moments when young ladies are called the wrong name or family members can get attached to one, only to find that she’s long gone.
Talk to your son about his intentions. Find out what he wants for his life in the near future and down the line. Tell him that you appreciate that he feels at ease bringing his dates around, but also point out that it is confusing for the family. I wouldn’t tell him to stop bringing his dates to the house, but you might suggest that he bring only serious girlfriends to big family gatherings like holidays or family reunions.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)